The miracle and the politics

Reading about blogging through grief accidently turned me into a sobbing useless wreck for an hour when I decided to wake up and write my own and see if it helps. In October 2013 I was hospitalized for going into preterm labor and that is where I stayed for what seemed like forever. I had been under an enormous amount of stress from my family (extended family aunts and uncles) and it was apparently getting to me. On November 25 my mother-in-law passed away having lost to cancer. I was not about to attend the memorial service still being in the hospital and it being against medical advice. Apparently sometimes those doctors know what they are talking about. On December 2nd at 8 am I went into labor and delivered twins at only 25 weeks. John and Jason were amazing weighing just under 2 pounds each. The first few days were quite a ride, they went from improving to having infections to being taken off medication to having brain bleed, both of them. They were not even cared for in the same room but they both ended up with lung infections at the same time. I inquired because in my opinion you get an infection by being infected. Probably when the housekeeper was empting the trash right next to his open pod.

Our sons passed away only 17 days after they were born after having been given a grave prognosis and being told that the had no chance and it was in our best interest to terminate life support. I kick my self about every day wonder who I thought I was to make that decision for them. Especially after finding out the only life support they were on was a respirator. They fought so hard but their little faces looked like they were a hundred years old and had lived a hard life. At least they were finally at peace.

babies

Not 3 days after we were contacted that they needed the final arrangements for the babies and we told them that we would be coming to pick them up. We had planned on burying them on family property. When we went to pick them up we were told that that case had been turned over to the Adult protective services to investigate. We were even more upset at this point as we were right on the skirt of Christmas. I was leery wondering how CPS would be involved, they didn’t have enough money to take care of the children being beat to death but are still alive. As it turned out they lied but the accurate part was that it had been referred to CPS in the form of a complaint against me and my daughter was not being cared for among other things. When we got the call we were in her office with in 3 hours and she told us it was the strangest case she had ever seen. After the investigation there was found to be no error or my part.

Our choice to take possession and transport the babies was made after much research and documentation. Sometimes called home funeral or home burial  in the state of Texas it is legal to take possession of a deceased person by the next of kin. We just decided the $900 each would be better spent on our daughters college fund. They were only 2 pounds each and for a 6 foot man we were going to move in a trash can. It took the help of the head of legal for home burials in our area to step in and we came to an agreement although it was not the legal or appropriate one. So they are at peace in our favorite place.

Our tragedy like so many others took a part of both of our spirits but we move on with the thought ” The ones we love live on in the memories we share of them.” It is just to bad that a closed minded and nosey person had to make a bad situation worse.

 

Thank you for the inspiration

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3 responses to “The miracle and the politics

  1. I am very sorry for your loss. It is good that in the end it was possible to come to an agreement about home burial on your property where the little darlings can be at peace. I hope writing about all this has helped you in some way. It’s good that you are thinking about sending your daughter to college. And who knows, maybe one day there are going to be some grandchildren for you.
    After I had suffered several miscarriages Peter and I had very late in life another daughter. This was in the 1970s! This daughter has grown up to a beautiful person.
    We lost one daughter, the eldest one, two years ago. She has had a very tough life after contracting polio in an epidemic in 1961. So she had been a quadriplegic with breathing difficulties for most of her life. But she was a very resourceful, brave person and enjoyed life as best as possible.
    Our second daughter and our son are both grandparents already, meaning we are very happy great grandparents!

    • What an inspiring response. We are in our 40’s and I know why 20 year olds have babies.
      My mother sat with a girl that had gotten polio at about that same time. They lived in Redondo Beach CA. She was told she would probably not make it to her 20’s She was like our aunt and she just passed in 2008 at the age of 61. The same year my mother died of cancer. I feel much better after reading your thoughts.
      thank you for making my day

      • I feel so glad that reading my thoughts made you feel better. Thank you so much for responding to my thoughts. Wishing you a great weekend. 🙂
        Aunty Uta

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